literature

Hybrid, Chapter 1: Olympus

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501 BC

    One night, two Spacers walked up the slope of Mount Olympus. One Spacer was in a hooded cloak while the other was an armored Spacer with a ponytail hair. A hovering metal box with a blue glowing screen and skinny jointed arms at the sides floated above the cloaked Spacer. The armored Spacer looked around as he held his sword thinking someone or something would attack them. He even looked back and saw the think cloud of smoke rising into the sky.

    He turned to the cloaked Spacer. “Fabocusa, how can we leave our crashed shuttle behind and still continue to find a way to uncover the secrets of Seiton?”

    “Cahan,” said Fabocusa. “We have crashed, but we can still get off this planet without it.”

    “How?” Cahan asked feeling annoyed. “You’re the Prince of the Royal Family and yet you didn’t get that shuttle inspected before taking it.”

    Fabocusa stopped walking and turned to Cahan. “Cahan, we’re alive. I was able to eject us out of the shuttle before it hit the ground.”

    Cahan said. “How do we get off this planet? Our people come to this planet once every thirty days to be worshipped. We can’t be on this planet and be exposed to the Humans. If they find out what we really are, think of what consequences that would have on us.”

    “Cahan, they can’t overrun us because they think we’re gods,” Fabocusa pointed at him. “Why do you think primitives would overrun their gods?”

    Cahan said. “They would overrun as they’ll learn that we’re just like them and other races in the galaxy.”

    “It won’t happen!” Fabocusa shouted. “Besides we need these primitives alive so that we can assemble them as Seiton returns.”

    “Fabocusa, you don’t know when he would return!” Cahan shouted back.

    “That is why we are going into Olympus to figure it out,” said Fabocusa as he found metal doors at the entrance to a cave.

    “Let me open that for you master,” said Alpha.

    Fabocusa’s robotic servant put his hands on the door. The grids on the knobs glowed blue and spun around. The doors slid open and the two Spacers descended to the stairs. They got into a massive dark hallway.

    Alpha scanned around and said. “This is the Titan War Memorial Hall. If you turn on the switch at the side of the door, it would light up and give us virtual footages of the war.”

    Fabocusa turned on the switch and the hall lit up. As they walked down slowly, the hall became flooded with footages showing the end of the Titan War. In the footages, the Spacers banished the Titans for good, but Seiton warned them of his return. They spent thousands of years rebuilding their crumbled worlds and finding primitives in the galaxy to be raised as children. During the search, the Spacer Council sealed themselves in cryostatis pods knowing the primitives may take centuries to cultivate to civilization. When Seiton returns, Fabocusa's Spacers would wake the Council up with an assembled legion.

    "Alpha, it has been one hundred thousand years since the war ended!" Faboucsa said. "Generation after generation, we believe the Titans will return more powerful than ever. As I watch the primitives becoming advanced every day, my mind trembles knowing the time will come."

    Alpha said. "Master, it is possible that the Titans may have become extinct since they lost their worlds. The Tartarus was an elliptical galaxy. Resources there were scarce and power is very limited. It doesn’t exist due to recent deep space observation.”

    “Alpha is right,” said Cahan. “There is no way that Seiton could return.”

    "Another possibility is that they are in hibernation flying back to the Milky Way and may attack at any time," said Fabocusa.

    "It was about 7 million light years from us," said Alpha.

    “And now it is gone,” Cahan shook his head in frustration.

    "Unless they use a special engine to create a powerful wormhole similar to the one used against them," Fabocusa became very concerned.

    "Master, I detect increasing stress within both you and Cahan," said Alpha. "I suggest that you take you mind off of this and find a way to get back to Pandora."
 
    "I can't!" he paced back and forth while Alpha and Cahan followed. "We don't know if the Titans or Seiton will return the way they originally came or if they have become artificially intelligent. The Council doesn't even know how to stop them, and they have been sleeping for thousands of years!"

    "We must not awaken them until the enemy arrives," Alpha points a finger up to warn him.

    “I think we should,” said Cahan. “What if these primitives could be a threat to our empire?”

    “Cahan, I told you this!” Fabocusa shouted. “They would never turn against us!”


    "He is right Cahan," said Alpha. "These primitives don’t have the skills and technology power enough to attack us. Plus they would never dare declare war on your people as they think you’re gods."

    “I’m sorry,” Cahan took a deep breath. “I am just stressed that we are stranded here.”

    “Don’t worry,” said Fabocusa. “I know how we can get out of here. Follow me.”

    Alpha and Cahan followed Fabocusa as they walked out of the hallway and to the other side of the mountain. They walked down the slope and headed to the Temple of Zeus. Cahan realized they were heading into the city of Athens.

    “Fabocusa, where are you taking us?” Cahan snapped in a whisper. “We can’t be in a Human city unless we’re being worshipped.”

    Fabocusa explained. “There is a small trail that goes to an empty water well. At the well, there is a crawlspace where there is a relay that would take us back to Pandora. We just need to go through the temple. Trust me, no human would ever know about this.”

    “Let’s hope not,” said Cahan as they entered the temple of Zeus.
This is the true chapter 1 of the Hybrid book. Now you are wondering why I am not continuing Hybrid 3. Well, I just need to fix Helen and Fabocusa's love story more. When I read this love story, it was not connected to the prologue and main story. So I am making changes to make it connect. Also I want to go deep in the friendship between Fabocusa and Cahan so that we would understand why they become enemies and we should care about that since Cahan is going to be the main villain in Hybrid 3. What do you think?

Prologue: Hybrid, Prologue: The Last Battle
Prologue:
The Last Battle
  In a room filled with glowing crystals, a tyrian reptilian man, Seiton, sat in his high throne engraved with gargoyles. His hands waved over a hovering holographic map of the Milky Way Galaxy. He laughed for black shades covered nearly all the map.
  Only this star system, Navi was highlighted blue. He touched that star for interface and an image of planet Okma flickered above the map. This planet had native ships flying around it like bees warning each other of danger.
  “Oh, Spacers,” the man chuckled. “All your worlds are destroyed by my touch. Your corpses are disintegrated by my footsteps. You don’t stand a chance in the universe. Now, my Titan Empire has become my galaxy against your world. You will all perish.”
  A spiky armored-Titan entered the room. “Lord Seiton, my men are ready.”
  His throne creaked as Seiton turned to the soldier and smiled. “Excellent, activate the relay

Chapter 1: Reading
Chapter 2: Coming Soon
© 2015 - 2024 CommnderShepard117
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Observer14's avatar
Style Note;  First, it's great that you carry most of the story here through conversations, rather than exposition, or the narrator explaining what is going on.  Most people miss that.  It's the first rule of storytelling: "Show, don't tell."  However, there are still some places where you could tighten this up.  One of the biggest is, almost every place where you say, "Cahan said," or "said Fabocusa" or something like that, you should just drop it!  95% of the time, it's redundant, because the other person just finished saying something.  There are some other places where you use more descriptive terms, like, "shouted" or "asked", and those are mostly good, because they are adding descriptive depth

The first paragraph is a little rough as an opening.  The "Spacers" term just feels clumsy in this initial context.  It might be better as:
Two figures walked up the slope of Mount Olympus. The first figure was hidden within a hooded cloak.  The second figure walked silently next to him, a long ponytail poking out from beneath his heavy armor. A metal box with skinny jointed arms and a softly glowing screen floated above the cloaked figure. ...

Just some ideas...

Great start to the story!