literature

Hybrid (Reboot), Prologue: Darkness

Deviation Actions

CommnderShepard117's avatar
Published:
860 Views

Literature Text

Prologue:
Darkness
      

    The sky was utterly black as a young man strolled across the field. Crispy cold air filled his lungs as he breathed. Fog smoldered across the frozen terrain. Crunching was all he could hear as he walked over grass frozen as icicles. No birds nor bats flying around. Trees stood with their leaves and bark stripped. Dead silence, that was all there was.    

    A black hooded cloak wrapped around him. He held out a piece of a green glowing crystal, his only source of light. Just ahead of him, countless corpses lay along his path. As he walked, he passed a few laid face flat on the ground. Others had on their armor melted to the bone. Robes burnt to crisp. He stumbled upon more bodies with their charred black skin intact. Their faces showed signs of pain and agony. All of them stayed in their positions just as death struck them.  

    The man’s heart sank. ‘Why must this happen?’

    Walking through the open grave, he found a wrecked ship, split in half. He searched along the side of the ship, looking for a way to get inside. Eventually, he squeezed through the crack. All the walls and controls were charred. Piles of the crew’s ashes left untouched. He stood for a while to mutter a prayer.    

    He got to the other side of the wreckage and continued his trek. Just over the horizon, what used to be a city had become mountains of rubble. Bones were scattered all over the streets. His feet sunk into two inches of ash. Vehicles tumbled over.    

    The rising moon shined over the haunted wasteland. Its light reflected off broken statues at the city forum. Strong winds from the north blew in, picking up ash and sand. They hit his face like shards of broken glass.    

    As he approached a hill of rubble surrounded by columns, his foot met a broken steel tablet. Swiping the ash off it, the engraved writings read:    

   “We are the Etheryans, Kings of the High Heavens. We have all come together for one cause, to survive a storm that almost brought to our doom. It is our duty, to protect and diverse our galaxy. Stripping our differences, we have united as one, now and forever across the stars.”

    Out of anger, he threw the tablet away as it meant nothing. With the moon hovering across the sky, he stood motionless. He tightened his cloak as the air got even colder. Strong winds blew the ashes into dunes. He scooped up the ash into the palms of his hands. Grits of its smooth texture spilled in between his fingers. His white palms were then coated gray. He looked at his hands as past wails and screams of his people echoed in his ear. A tear slid down his cheek.    

    As he continued to walk down the outskirts of the city, skeletons stood on the ruins like gargoyles. A black reptilian bird sat on a tree branch staring dead down at him. As the man passed the tree, the bird slowly turned to continue to stare. Finally, it let go of the branch and fell down to the icy ground.

    Passing a shattered gate, he walked to a beach. His face felt it was turning to stone as he approached the shoreline. Tiny waves were the only waves crashing onto the beach. Waterfalls off the cliffs were just pillars of ice. There were no ships in the water, nor in the sky. No seagulls flying over the water. Not even large ocean animals breaching the surface.    

    At the end of the beach was a set of stone stairs. Walking up, he saw a dimming light from an opening up a cave. ‘Is there someone there?’    

    He ran to the top of the stairs and entered the cave. Following the dimming light, he came upon a campfire surrounded by three others in ragged hooded robes.    

    Taking his hood off, the man’s long white hair rolled down on his back. His skin was white as winter snow. The irises of his eyes were as blue as the ocean; his scleras were light blue. The tone of his body was well built.    

    The people at the campfire turned around and took their hoods off, revealing to be elderly men. Each of them wore long dark purple robes with the map of the stars on their backs. Both their beards and hair were pony-tailed. Like him, the elders too had white skin and hair. Cuts, bumps, and bruises engraved on their faces.    

    One of them stood up and spoke, “Prince Fabocusa, you’ve survived.”    

    “Ogan, Elder of the Etheryans,” Fabocusa said. “Are there other survivors?”    

    Over minutes of silence, the Elders dropped their heads as their faces drawn sadness. Ogan said, “We are all that’s left.”    

    Fabocusa dropped to his knees. Ogan’s words echoed in his ear. His arms shook as his eyes began to tear up. The wind blew into the cave, trying to reach for the fire. The Elders huddled closer to the fire to protect it.  

    “This is it then?” Fabocusa asked. His eyes were locked on the ground as he felt defeated. “We are now going to die?”    

    “I’m afraid so,” said the second Elder, Jodo. “The Titan Lord, Seiton returned to the galaxy. No longer he is a man. Having neither body nor mind, he only exists within our network. Now that he succeeded, our time has come.”    

    The third Elder, Reian spoke, “He couldn’t be stopped by us.”    

    “How can none of us prepared for his return?” Fabocusa asked, feeling hopeless. “We spent so many of our generations preparing these young races for his return. The Ancient Counselors spoke of this prophecy that we would lead everyone to defeat him. Now, he destroyed us.”  

    “Yes,” Jodo nodded. “But the young races have been spared.”    

    Reian added, “They would grow and fly to the stars. One day they’ll be as superior as we once were.”    

    Fabocusa shook his head, “They wouldn’t know anything about us or how to defeat him.”    

    “We may have lost,” said Ogan. “But it is very important that these young beings know of our once existence.”    

    The cold wind returned for the second time. Its fingers nearly touched the flame. The flame began to shrink. Ogan warned, “If they don’t, then they’ll die.”    

    Finally, the wind touched the flame.

Hey guys! It has been a while since I posted my writing. I have been editing my story over and over. Then I thought maybe I should rewrite the story just to make it more realistic. I have read my original writing and believed that it is just kiddish like it is was made for children instead of adults. I also been learning how to do showing instead of telling. I want my story to be like Star Wars meets Mass Effect and Terminator. So I am going to use parts of the original writing with extra new material to make this series a reboot. What do you think? Please let me know.

Prologue: Reading
Chapter 1: Hybrid (Reboot), Chapter 1: Alexander
Chapter 2: Hybrid (Reboot), Chapter 2: The Prophet
© 2017 - 2024 CommnderShepard117
Comments4
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
loneXwolf97's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

I think potential is the best way to describe this. There are a lot of minor mistakes (spelling and such), but honestly most of them I had to read a second time to notice.

The dress and description of characters gave me a kind of Destiny field, which is good since you're going for a strong Sci-fi style. I particularly love the Destiny art style, and Star Wars clothing as well for that matter. Something about the flowing capes and futuristic armor that shows resemblance to medieval armor is very appealing to me. I look forward to the technology that may or may not be present, or perhaps more accurately the remnants of it from past civilizations.

I sense the post-apocalyptic undertones, everything frozen and dead... It's good! I theorize that your introduced characters have evolved to survive the climate, though are few and far between. This kind of genre has been done before, quite a bit, so I hope to see you make it your own with future installments.

I look forward to where this goes, but perhaps this should have been longer. Like I get this is just a prologue and all, but the shift from this character being alone, to being a Prince along with a group of comrades was a bit sudden, I thought. So again, if I were to describe this, I would say that it has plenty of potential with pretty decent groundwork.